What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize