clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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