i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm both gender and math confused
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize