He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
