i can't believe i had my finger in that
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
