We're like a lot better than the average bears
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize