yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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