I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
