she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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