I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize