morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
