see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
