i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
