He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
