I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
