Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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