Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
