Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
