Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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