Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry DGAF_itschelle hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(904): View more from Florida

watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..

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(251): View more from Alabama

Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his

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(337): View more from Louisiana

After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.

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(360): View more from Washington

Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.

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(386): View more from Florida

It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina

(386): View more from Florida

It really is the softest mustache

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(818): View more from California

we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame

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(706): View more from Georgia

I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?

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(425): View more from Washington

Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine

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