Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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