Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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