apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
