ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
