return my video game
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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