3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
