Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
