My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
