How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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