I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
