weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Can Purell be used as lube?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
