I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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