I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
