every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm bleeding and have questions
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize