i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I supernannyed him into submission
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