im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
