Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
