just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Randomize