it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
whose parrot is this?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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