I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize