I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
worst night to have a conscience
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
