Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize