I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
