shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
