can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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