check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
