My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
