I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
