you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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