I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Can I color on your dick again?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
