considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
i think i just lost a toe
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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