you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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