she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
