There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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