Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
