Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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