Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
