based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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