Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
