and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
