I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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