Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
