dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
