How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
